Have you wondered how children from the same school, same class, and similar surroundings differ so much? One performs well whereas others don’t do so well.
Parenting is the differentiator, and it’s critical for us to understand and avoid these 7 things in the bests interest of our children as they grow.
Tyranny — Parents are always right
We believe that we know everything good or bad for them. We are strict and aggressive to make them learn things faster and ace in everything. We use harsh words or sometimes give physical punishments if they do not perform as expected.
All these make them learn aggression and if they are right, they can do anything to others. So instead of being Hitler, there are a lot of things that can be taught as friends and colleagues.
Children have the caliber to understand almost everything, hence we should befriend them instead of getting impatient and aggressive.
We taunt them so that they do not repeat the same mistakes. A lot of times these are unintentional comments. For example, if the child gets late for school. “You are always late to get ready for school”, but the child thinks I was late a few times why I am told like this? The child either gets gloomy about it or rebels against it. Instead of that, we can put a positive word, “You were on time yesterday for school, why got late today”
Here are a few common examples, we should try and make things positive:
- You will never learn this — to — You are doing well, you can learn this also.
- You are a fool — to — You have done a mistake this time, don’t repeat the same, you are such a good boy
- You will not understand till I punish you — to — You are mature enough to understand, you should do this urself.
Comparison with others
Most of everything a child does is due to Parents, hence if she is failing in comparison with others in some areas, we are equally responsible. We need to understand that she cannot excel in everything and should balance this based on her choices.
Keep treating them like a baby
Sometimes even though they grow out of age we still treat them as a baby. We laugh at their comments, make fun of them and not take them seriously. All this was good for an initial couple of years but as soon as a sense of personality comes in this becomes very unhealthy. It may lead the child to close out on us, they may not tell it upfront. Instead, treat them with respect, listen to them, and show them the respect they deserve.
Scolding or threatening for small things
Also, we threaten them to get things done, for example, to ensure they sleep timely, “if you do not sleep now, a ghost will come and take u”
All these have a lasting impact on them, again let’s trust them to understand the priority of things. If going to bed timely is critical let’s make them understand by logic why it's a priority? Also, we need to lead by example. We cannot have them sleep early if we are not sleeping early. They are smart enough to figure this out and emulate us.
Spoil them by always agreeing to their demands
We show our love by giving whatever they wish, leading to egoistic and bullying behavior. The child thinks that the world is around them and we owe them everything. They also start telling lies since they know their parents will agree to anything.
We need to keep balance and sometimes a strict “no” is required. Also, they should know that they cannot get away with lies.
Wrong influence or bad company
As responsible parents, it’s our duty to ensure they do not get into the wrong influence or bad company. For this, we need to keep talking to them about their friends and habits. Thinking that they are grown-ups and we do not need to interfere is not good for them. Once a situation like this gets out of hand, it becomes tough to handle. With growing distractions in today’s environment, it is important to work with them as friends.
In the end, Parenting is a very rewarding and soothing experience. And with children, we relive some of our childhood again. But at the same time, it’s a balancing act to ensure the success and happiness of our children for the future.
Originally published at https://www.9skips.com
